It’s an age old problem. People are always asking where or how they can find a great girl/guy to date. There are over seven billion people in the world, yet a huge percentage of people have trouble finding a date. The problem with the question of trying to find a good girlfriend/boyfriend is pretty simple once you think about it. How could you possibly know who is going to be a good match for you if you don’t date them for a while and see how you get on? Barring the ability to read people’s minds, you can’t. We are always slightly confused when people ask where all the good suitors have gone. The key to finding someone you really get along with and wish to date is a simple idea but a complicated process.
You just have to meet more people. Soon enough, you’ll find someone great.
Go Where The People Are
If you are looking for a specific kind of person to meet, you should have a little think about where that kind of person might frequent. If you like the arty and hipster types, frequenting the local coffee shop and being friendly to those in it is a great place to meet some new people. Whilst some people just want to be left to their coffee in peace, some people will actively be looking for conversation.
If you are looking for someone physically fit, it makes sense to go join a gym and attend some fitness classes. This gives you common ground to talk about when you are trying to meet people. Finding just any old person to date isn’t so difficult and with a bit of confidence you could find someone to date easily enough. The problem is that you have set yourself the expectation of finding someone great, so nobody seems like the person you want to date. The reason it is hard to find the best dates is that you are actively looking for the best dates.
If you are in a bar, the prettiest and most handsome person to you is also going to be the prettiest and most handsome person in the room to others as well. With potential dates like this, there will probably be a lot of competition and if they are really that incredible, they will probably be in a relationship already!
Changing your expectations to find yourself someone fun is a lot easier than competing with the hundreds of people that might fawn over your potential date on a daily basis. Whilst we desire the “perfect” date, they probably don’t exist, whilst there are plenty of people who we would be perfectly content with dating. How to find these people is a lot easier!
There are tried-and-true places to meet guys more likely to be good relationship material, but where you meet someone can set the tone for the relationship. If you meet all of your dates in dive bars on a Tuesday or at house parties, there is a fairly high chance that you haven’t found the best person for you. If they are drinking on a Tuesday, what does that say about the person and their prospects?
Location is as important to finding quality dates as any other factor. If you like your dates to be charitable and kind, try volunteering some of your time to any organization. The people here are poised to be kinder than the average person is, due to the fact that they are volunteering their time.
If you prefer educated people, take a class and see who you can meet. It’s not a bad way to spend your time; you learn new skills and meet new people, even if you don’t find a date. The main benefit to being out and about allows you to put yourself in situations you wouldn’t usually be in. Face to face with new people is much more fun than updating your Online dating profile, after all.
Ask Your Friends
Don’t be afraid of asking for help from your workmates or friends. Whilst they may set you up on dates with completely incompatible people, you never know who you might meet through a friend of a friend. If you tell people that you are looking for someone fun who wants to settle down, one of their friends might have said the same thing to them recently. A friend who knows both of you quite well might think that you would make a good couple. We have personally seen this method to work really well. You’d be amazed at who your network of friends is related to, especially if you find yourself on a great date as the result of a few simple questions.
Taking my advice into consideration and acting on it will mean that son enough you’ll have a whole host of dates in which to find yourself the perfect suitor. Once you are on the date, follow standard rules of conversation. Keep the conversation light and lively and don’t dominate the conversation by talking about yourself incessantly. Most people have a few funny anecdotes which they can tell people to get them laughing. Asking open ended question allows your date to have a chance to tell you things and lets them direct the conversation for a while. This way the conversation can often veer off in an unexpected and way more interesting direction. Try to keep it natural and easy-going and save any of the big questions for later on in the courtship. If you take an interest in the things around you, watch the news and read magazines, you will have a much easier time talking to people and relating to them. Whilst the topics you might hear in the news or magazines are just for small talk, small talk is there to provide the foundation for deeper bonding. You should be aiming for a 50-50 split in participation of the conversation. Note that this does not mean you should be talking 50% of the time. What is does mean is you ask interesting questions which don’t make your date feel like they are on an interview and you try to keep the conversation natural and easy. Nobody likes to think on their feet so try not to ask any disarming questions and avoid any areas where serious opinions may exist.
Finding a girlfriend or boyfriend that is worth dating is a lot easier once you actively put yourself into situations where you meet new people. Keeping an open mind about the kind of people you want to date is a must. You might well be turning away great relationships because of a prejudice you brought from a different relationship, hurting yourself unwittingly. An open mind allows you to see you’re past relationship problems as exactly that, past. We think that managing your expectations on a first date can lead to some experiences that you wouldn’t have otherwise. We are not saying to lose your standards completely, just to allow your curiosity to see whether or not the next person to ask you on a date is the right person. You will never know until you try!