Having sex on your first date just isn’t a great idea for anyone. Whilst you might get carried away in the heat of the moment, you need to be able to grab yourself and stop yourself from falling victim to your hedonistic biases. When you have sex with someone on a first date, you are indirectly showing that you don’t respect yourself enough to make your partner wait and get to know you. In addition to this, you’ll make it so that your partner will think that you sleep with anyone on your first date.
"I don’t usually do this" isn’t a very believable thing to say, even if it is true. Most people will have heard that a hundred times before and expect to hear it again in the future. When you have sex on the first date, you are saying that you are not actually interested in having a good relationship with your new date.
First Date Nerves
Even if the other things mentioned in this article didn’t apply, you’ll still have that first date nerves and awkwardness between your partner and yourself. You just can’t have great sex whilst you are nervous and you really want to be relaxed in the presence of your date when you have sex with them. When you barely know anything about them, how they act and react to things, there’s no way you will be calm unless you are a serial dater. Sex is always better with people you actually care about and when you have only just met this person, it is unlikely that you will know them very well at all. Getting that emotional closeness necessary for great sex is difficult and can take a few weeks or even months to get close. When you are just two strangers hooking up, what on earth is there between you apart from the physical attraction?
Waiting a little while before having sex means you get closer to your date, you can tease them and really ramp up the sexual tension and lust. This means that when you do actually have sex, you’ll have mind blowing, incredible sex as you have both been waiting for this moment for a long time. When you wait a little longer before having sex, you can find out the kinds of things your new partner likes in bed and you’ll have much better, more relaxed and less awkward sex.
You will know when it is the right time to have sex because you wont feel pressured or rushed in to it and it’ll happen naturally. When you have sex on a first date, it always feels strange because you don’t really know this person. On a first date, it is dangerous to go off alone with your new date before you get to know them and this is another reason why you should opt out of sex on the first date.
Not having sex on the first date is also a great way to weed out those people who don’t want long-term relationships. If they are only looking for sex and will never call you back, you probably don’t want to be used by these types of people. This is a way that you can allow your date to show sincerity and see what they intend to do, relationship-wise. The right date for you will not mind that you are putting a veto on sex on the first date.
Whilst you might not just be looking for sex, many people are and this is a fact of modern dating. You can have a one-night stand if you want, but they rarely end up in fulfilling and lasting relationships with two contented partners.
One of the best reasons not to have sex on the first date is that when you have recently left a long relationship, you don’t want to rebound on to someone you just met. The urge to feel sexy and attractive, to prove the world that you are still seductive is strong but your willpower should be stronger. If you succumb to the temptation, you’ll be annoyed with yourself and you will feel worthless when your date realizes you were only interested in them because you were on the rebound. Our bodies need time to heal mental wounds just like physical ones and if you don’t allow it time to do so; you’ll end up hurt even more.
You don’t keep playing sports if you have injured yourself so why would you continue dating right after a breakup? First date sex isn’t really a good idea unless you are already having casual sex and you are sure that it won’t mess up your lifestyle. Keep them waiting and hold off until you are sure this is the right person for you.